Friday evening, perfect weather, fresh legs, felt great, music playing, beautiful sunset, made it to the levee at Williams Blvd, the River is very high, darkness was taking it's place for tonight's performance, frogs croaking, crickets chirping , and gators grunting, all in orchestrated harmony. I'm alone, the road is open and mine, it's dropping to 60 degrees , I have sleeves on
,I'm comfortable, the cool breeze smacks my face forcing concentration and visual acuity.
Passed Mr Cigar smoking man, he's an icon, passed the helicopter pad at PPH, all's normal and in place for a comfortable , smooth,memberable ride. Near Jefferson Playground some horse stables abut the levee, the owners leave some horses graze on the levee tethered to a spike in the ground. I have a new light on my bike, it the size of a D battery and shoots a beam about a half a mile, I set it in flash so I'm seen coming from great distances. I just learned that flashing lights piss off horses. As I passed the horse stable my left eye caught a spooked horse coming to stop the flashing light, he hit me like a freight train, the last thing I saw from my bike was his big brown eye, it was lifeless like a sharks eye. The horse plowed right through me, no time for pain or decisions, or thoughts, it just happened without malice or restraint. My bike and I performed a 360 maneuver unintentionally, I rolled down the levee and landed tangled in my bike like we were one, half of me was in the river , I knew I was hurt and was tentative finding out how bad..I sat up best I could, checked my hands and arms first, titanium wrist is ok, .left wrist is twisted , don't seem broken, raised my left arm and found my collar bone pushing our on the skin that usually contains it.. Felt something warm in my left eye, blood dripping from the gash over my left eye. I pulled a Wet One out my pocket and cleaned it best I could and put some compression on it .. Thought I'd get up and climb the levee, pulled up to my left knee and right leg sent a shock of pain through me like a baseball bat on the shin. looking down I see my calf bone broken ,trying to poke out the skin. It was time for the cell phone call, pulled out the phone, it"s crushed, Ok lets climb the levee and flag help, I maneuvered in a crooked sideways position so my best parts were on the ground and started dragging my self up . Every so often I'd look down and see my mangled bike laying half in the river. It took about 2 hours ,plenty grunting, grubbing , clawing and praying to get there. Finally on the blacktop atop the levee I'll wait for someone to come by and get me help, its dark and about 8:30 but people still come by. I was fortunate I lifted my head a little and looking out my right eye I see two pair of leather shoes , cut to fit , no socks , and soiled khaki pants, couldn't get higher than that to see more.
One voice says " are you hurt mister?" I managed a "Yes, need help" "what do you need he ask?" "an ambulance and my bike from down there" 'We'll help you mister" , One stayed with me while the other got my bike. When the bike gatherer returned they stood on each side of me and started kicking me in the side, the pain was one thing but hearing the ribs crack made it event full, I began spitting blood as air was forced out my lungs with a pufffffe with each kick.
one says, "thanks for the bike asswhole" , I couldn't speak., I was in fetal and blanking out .
I came too about an hour later, gravity helped me get to the bottom of the levee near the street, a passerby must have called an ambulance. They taped me to a board then on a cart into the ambulance. . Oschner was right there, into the emergency room, my neck packet had all my medical information and identification. The nurses delicately cut away my clothes, exposing my wounds. I called the doctor close to me to whispered to him, "how long will I be laid up doc",
he replied " since its April first I guess you'll be at work Monday morning.
Happy Aprils fool day.
